What is interesting about the science involved in all this is how it both backs up, and goes against, intuition. Much of Kross's book is devoted to what he calls the "toolbox" of techniques that can be used to dial down chatter, and while some of these seem to contradict all that we think and feel - "venting", for instance, can do a person more harm than good, because talking about negative experiences with friends can often work as a repellent, pushing away those you need most - others confirm that when we act on certain instincts, we're right to do so.
To take one example, if you are the kind of person who slips into the second or third person when you are in a flap ("Rachel, you should calm down; this is not the end of the world"), you really are doing yourself some good. What Kross calls "distanced self-talk" is, according to experiments he has run, one of the fastest and most straightforward ways of gaining emotional perspective: a "psychological hack" that is embedded in "the fabric of human language". Talking to yourself like this - as if you were another person altogether - isn't only calming. Kross's work shows that it can help you make a better impression, or improve your performance in, say, a job interview. It may also enable you to reframe what seems like an impossibility as a challenge, one to which, with your own encouragement, you may be able to rise. Some of his other techniques are already well known: the power of touch (put your arms around someone); the power of nature (put your arms around a tree). Activities that induce "awe" - a walk in the mountains, say, or time spent in front of a magnificent work of art - are also useful, helping with that sense of perspective. Writing a daily journal can prove efficacious for some (something that felt terrible one day physically becoming old news the next), while neat freaks like me will be thrilled to discover that what he calls "compensatory control" - the creation of exterior order, better known as tidying up - really does have an impact on interior order. Reorganise your sock drawer, and you may find that your voice quietens.
Research shows, too, that superstitions, rituals and lucky charms can be useful, though most of us will draw the line at, say, taking our milk teeth with us when we fly, as the model Heidi Klum is said to (she keeps hers in a tiny bag, which she clutches during turbulence). Placebos have been found to work on chatter, just as they do in the case of some physical illnesses. In one study in which Kross was involved, a saline nasal spray acted as a kind of painkiller for the inner voice: data from brain scans showed that those who'd inhaled it, having believed they were inhaling a painkiller, displayed significantly less activity in their brain's social-pain circuitry compared with those who knew they had inhaled only a saline solution.
No wonder, then, that Kross believes children should be taught the science behind all of these ideas, and in the US he has already begun working with teachers to make this happen: "We want to find out if knowing this stuff influences how they regulate themselves." Does he make use of the toolbox? (Physician, heal thyself.) "We should probably ask my wife," he laughs. "But yes, I do, absolutely. I'm human, too." In particular, he is "very selective" when it comes to friends from whom he seeks "chatter support".